I have great ideas. I’m not bossy, but I am the boss”.Īs strong and consistent as my core values may be, there is one big society out there (and 7 hours a day at school) telling them that, once again, mommy doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Since they were born, I’ve told my children “I’m NOT bossy, I’m directional. Boys tend not to pay attention to whether or not they’re liked and, in fact, they often deliberately seek out conflict (but I’ll leave that for another blog). We don’t call little boys ‘bossy’ because they’re ‘supposed’ to lead and, beside the point, they wouldn’t care. Any meaning of the word ‘bossy’ bumps up against our end goal: Why? Because girls are deep-wired and socialized to be liked and to avoid conflict. When little girls (and grown women) are called ‘bossy’ it discourages them from leading. The “Ban Bossy” campaign will, undoubtedly, seem trivial to anyone who has never been called “bossy” in that tone of voice. The campaign is aimed at helping people become more aware of, and responsible for, the many insidious ways we deter girls/women from leading. Inevitably, I went to the place that so many of us women go when we get feedback that we’re not proud of- I went to the place called, “What did I do wrong?”įast forward to the announcement of the launch of the “Ban Bossy” Campaign led by Sheryl Sandberg and the Girl Scouts. Over and over I mentally reviewed our interactions looking for any morsel that would indicate that I had, indeed, been ‘overbearing’. My instincts told me that this was her ‘stuff’ not mine.

I didn’t know how to respond to her email, so I did nothing. In response to what I thought was diligence, I was told that I was being bossy.

My intention had simply been to follow up, and to not ‘drop the ball’. In other words, there is no positive context for being ‘overbearing.’ None. In case you’re curious, the synonyms for overbearing are:

What?!įirst, I was flabbergasted! Then, I searched the online dictionary for the word ‘overbearing’. I do appreciate your enthusiasm, but it can feel a bit overbearing, to be honest. A few years back I received an email from a referral I had recently met.

Ms bossy pants